VICTOR
Hey everyone, welcome to the Healing Everyday Podcast. Uh, I'm Victor.
DEANNA
And I'm Deanna.
VICTOR
Hi, Deanna. Crazy week. Fun week. How is everybody listening? I hope everyone's well. Let's get started.
DEANNA
Yeah, it honestly, like Victor and I were just talking this morning about how absolutely crazy this week has been, and not necessarily in a bad way, but just, I mean, lots of driving for presentations. Um, you know, sometimes, sometimes, you know, you can have not a tough crowd, but a squirrely crowd, right. And when you have that multiple days in a row, it's, it's tough. Uh, and just, you know, we're in the home stretch of the end year, end of the year, you know, so it's not quite burnout, but like, we need a break. We're ready.
VICTOR
Yeah, yeah. We're getting closer to the, to the end. And you always know that, that feeling to me, when, when it's like end of April and it's supposed to be sunny and warm, but it's actually snowing today, ,
DEANNA
I'm so upset.
VICTOR
. Yeah. It's, um, you get that feeling of, you know, we're getting closer to the end of the year, which, which is really kind of, you know, it's bittersweet because we love doing what we're doing, but we also need a break to recharge and to always make our program better and better. We always think of ideas throughout the year to, oh, we can do this differently and, and that differently. So I'm excited to do all of that, so,
DEANNA
Yeah, for sure. And it's, it's just a different type of work that, that we do then. And, um, it's where like the creative piece can come out a little bit more and because, I mean, we're always creative when we're presenting and our audience always brings something different. So we're always changing, you know, but when we actually get to dive into the curriculum and, and not just move stuff around, but to actually put new things in, it's very exciting. Yeah. And so, yeah, I'm excited.
VICTOR
That’s Great. So we were talking the other day, um, about how, and you brought this up and you thought this was a great topic, that how we were different, we were different when we were kids, the environment that we lived in, all the things that were happening and just the way our lifestyle was growing up is different than we are now with, with our families. And I'd love for you to start because I think you have a, a great, uh, outlook on it and your story. I mean, this is something you, you don't talk very much about on our podcast, and quite frankly, I only heard you, you know, we talk about it privately, but uh, I hear it so every so often in presentations you'll bring something up with q and a and stuff, especially with the high school students yesterday. Mm-hmm. . But yeah, let dive into it and then, uh, we'll just bounce back and forth.
DEANNA
Yeah. So I, I had sent Victor a voice text and um, I was kind of choked up cuz I was dropping Harry, my son off at my, at my in-laws at about 6:00 AM cuz we were actually going to present at my high school. So, um, and we had to get there at six 30, but Victor, you know, I sent him a voice text because I was, I was so appropriately so when I dropped my son off, he was dead asleep. And, uh, I, I just put him on the couch by my mother-in-law who was also asleep. And my father-in-law had been coming down the stairs. And I said, I whispered to him, I'm not gonna whisper right now, but I whispered to him, Hey, Harry's over on the couch, he's still asleep. He should sleep all the way until you gotta get him up for school.
And he just squeezed my arm, uh, and said, he's okay, mama. It's gonna be fine. And it was so, it was, it was such a moment of, first of all, this is a man who, who I think of his dad who can touch me and I don't recoil or feel uncomfortable and that I can also leave and go fulfill like a purpose and, and do things that help the world and help me. And at the same time leave my entire world Harry there with these people. And I, I, I get that feeling. So I can only imagine how good it feels to Harry to be there to be somewhere safe and that, that that blows my mind. And he has nothing to compare it to. He's not comparing it to my childhood or, or being unsafe at home. That's just his reality. And, and like, cuz I think what I had said in the, in the voice text is like, oh, I wanna do a podcast on what's different now.
There's so much safety and comfortability and like, and I feel safe. I feel safe going into people who are parents. Like words are symbols, right? Words are symbols, letters are symbols. And we associate feelings and, and experiences with those symbols. The mother symbol to me, the, it it's terrifying. It's terrifying to think of mom and mother cuz of what I experienced. It's terrifying to think of dad and father and I'm relearning that. I mean, they've been in my life now, I mean my whole life. But as like my in-laws my parents for, for um, like 13 years now. And it's so different. It's so, and it's beautiful and scary too because it's, it's something I've never experienced, uh, with my son, with them. And so that's kind, that's kind of the podcast today is about what's different in your life today. Not to compare, but you can look back and see how different it is compared to your childhood.
VICTOR
Yeah. I, I think for, for me, um, now obviously I don't associate those words like that, um, right. Than my dad. I mean, my dad, um, I talk about my dad all the time. Um, and I'm learning more about my dad now that he's been gone now for 13 years than I, than I did when he was alive. But, but ultimately I, I, I think of mom and dad, I think of, uh, I don't have a negative feeling about it. Does that make sense? I mean, yeah, horrible moments growing up. But I, I think that the, I think the overall difference now than it was back then is the awareness of of, of our past and where we are now. Our parents, I'm pretty, maybe my mom, I, again, we never talked about it. So I, I don't think my dad was sitting around a lot and going, well, you know, what was my childhood like and how can I be better than I was yesterday as a parent?
He just re he was reactive all the time and that's why he yelled all the time. And, and quite frankly, that's why he, he was drinking all the time because he didn't know how to deal with the problems that were in his life. And, and again, I think most of those problems, you know, he could have said at that moment, well it was my younger, well my older sister Renee, uh, the youngest of the three girls, um, but it wasn't, he could have said it was my brother coming home late at night cuz my brother was getting into a fight, you know, with some friends after work they would go out and drink. It wasn't dad, it was because of all of his stuff from when he was a kid. So there was never that awakening. Now I do think he may have seen some of that later in life when he stopped drinking and he lost my mom and my sister.
I think he had a lot of reflective moments. But I think the biggest difference for us, I'm just talking about me personally, is that as, as an adult, as a parent, I'm always trying to, I guess it's a form of analyzing and, and thinking and reflecting and saying, okay, what can I do today that was different than yesterday? Okay, that parenting moment wasn't so good, what can I do next time? So from a parental perspective and adult perspective, that's what I think is different. Um, I do think though our kids, uh, you know, again, I I, for those of you don't know, and I'm pretty open, I don't talk about it a lot, but I'm, I'm divorced and I'm very grateful that I have a good relationship with my ex-wife. But they're like, that's what they have to deal with. They have to deal with being in a split home and, and all of that, which I have no context cuz that didn't happen to me.
Now could I argue that maybe it would've been a better solution to, you know, what, what we had to deal with? Like maybe, you know, it would've been better off if my parents maybe have gotten divorced and, and all that. But my, my mom just back then, they didn't do that. They, you know, they were like, we stay, you know, we did leave, uh, uh, at one time. We left for a weekend, then went back home. But my my point is, is that I think they're seeing it much differently. And I think they're seeing their parents much different. They're seeing their parents as their parents, right. But we are, we are, I am more aware of how I am as a father that I think they have it way better in terms of, yes, there, there are issues sometimes a hundred percent, but they're not living with what, what I lived with and what you lived with. And Harry, obviously Harry has no context of that. And Harry is just like this, like, he's so loved, uh, by everyone in his family. I, you, you talk about him every single day. Um, but you know, like, seems like one of the biggest issues is, you know, he's on his, you know, tablet too too much today,
DEANNA
Dude. Absolutely.
VICTOR
So, so if that's the worst that's gonna happen, like seriously, like talk, can you talk about if you feel comfortable Yeah. Talk about, and I, the reason why I'm so interested in this because I I didn't experience what you're about to talk about, talk about some of the things you had to face, um, aside from the abuse, which this is all under the umbrella of abuse, right? The different form of abuse that I can't even imagine. I can't imagine every time you talk about it, I cringe because I like, I cannot believe, well I can't believe cuz you're an amazing person. But I, but just that it, it it's astounding to think and to see you grow up as the woman you are and how amazing you are. An amazing mom, amazing wife, amazing friend. And you've, you've transformed your life a hundred percent. So talk about that. I didn't mean to make you tear up.
DEANNA
No, it's um, because, because I've spent so many years, um, you know, we triage kind of when, when we're dealing with our trauma, right? We, we prioritize bits and pieces of what we're working on. And so, um, what's always been in the forefront of my mind, uh, while always, you know, being the last, you know, 10 years or so was talking about the sexual abuse and talking about, you know, my, my mom's, you know, narcissistic traits and, and how that manifested as abuse. Um, and so the other forms of maltreatment, neglect, medical neglect, always took a backseat. Um, because I ne I never really thought that that impacted me the same way. Um, but it, but it all impacted me. And so some of, some of the things that I experienced that, um, my hope is that my son never does. My, my family never does are things like, um, not getting to take showers, not getting to have hot water.
Um, I, I don't think I've talked about this on the podcast before. I may have. Um, but there were, there were points in our childhood where, um, our gas would be shut off and sometimes even our electric at the same time would, would be off. And we didn't, wouldn't have heat on in the house. And there were times where we still had to bathe, but a cold shower in the middle of winter is, is not a, an easy thing to do. And so we had an old camping stove and my, my dad, we also had a big, a very, very big pot that we would actually, um, make jelly in when we were kids. We had a, um, grape vines, outback, uh, and my dad would fill it up with water from the hose and then heat it up in the garage and then take it up the stairs to the bath and, and then dump it in and then add cold water cuz it was wait,
VICTOR
So time out. Wait, so why did, okay, they did that, but because their, their bill wasn't paid? Is that,
DEANNA
I don't, I see. And, uh, thinking back, I'm not sure, and I'm not sure if they were even allowed to cut off gas during the wintertime. I don't know. It could have been that our hot water heater was out, you know, because because I don't, I don't really, I know that there were times where my parents just didn't pay bills. I, I know there was, um, but I can't definitively say why that happened. Right. Um, and there were times where we didn't have electricity, but my dad would use a generator, so they'd be like, okay, you got an hour to charge your phone. And, and I remember like, okay, yeah, I better get my phone charged . And, and that was in high school, you know? Um, and I didn't get a cell phone until I was, I don't know, 14 or 15, you know. But the, the baths that, um, uh, and see, it's, it just feels like it's my fault even after all these years. And I, and I'm so hesitant to share it because there is such a level of shame of, that was my family. We would share bath water, bath water that someone else bathed in a sibling before me. Um, and, and, and I, I, I, I knew I didn't like it. I knew, but what other choice did I have? There was no choice. How
VICTOR
Old were you at that time? Around
DEANNA
Elementary school? I don't know. Um, maybe first, second, third grade, maybe. Um, and I remember getting teased at school about having ripped clothes or dirty shoes or, or things like that. And I, I remember thinking, um, you don't even know , you don't, I I don't have an ability to wash my clothes. Um, and, and then there was always the fear that people, uh, would, would, would see that I'm not Deanna. I I'm dirty, I'm, I'm gross. I'm coming from a home that is, is basically living in squalor. And, and it, there were so many moments like that of, of just, I mean, we had our, there was horrific water damage. We didn't have walls in our kitchen. There was no, what do they call it, sheet rock. It did, all the roof got damaged and it leaked down. And eventually my dad, um, removed it and there was open insulation and then there was black tarp everywhere. And that was that way all the way up until I left.
VICTOR
So we're talking about context and, and having some kind of frame of reference. There's a lot of people that I've learned about and read about that have, you know, transformed their lives and they'll say, well, they didn't have a lot when they were younger, but they didn't know the difference. So how did you know? Did you, were you going over to other friends' houses and you were seeing how they were living and you're like, wait a second, why are we living this way?
DEANNA
Yeah, soccer. Soccer. Because I would go to teammates houses, um, there would be team sleepovers. Um, everything
VICTOR
Um, everything Comes back to soccer.
DEANNA
Yeah. It's always back to soccer. It really is. And I would, and I would also see, um, other girls just have pristine hair and, and I remember them saying, well, my mom helps me wash it. I don't ever remember my mom helping me with that stuff, ever. I mean, obviously when I was an infant and like a very, very small child, probably, right. But I have no memory of my mom ever, ever doing any, any care tasks ever. And, and with, with the hot showers when I first moved in with my husband, um, you drained the hot water. You drained all the water, babe. Yeah, I did. And it wasn't until I started talking about the sexual abuse that I started opening up about that stuff too. Um, and, and it, it, he used to tease me about it, about you just took a 40 minute shower, which please don't get on me.
I know that's not great . I know it's not you guys if you're listening. Um, but it was such a, uh, a place of comfort. Even to this day when I go to a hotel, you guys, oh my gosh, unlimited to hot water. That to me is like, I made it like . Like I can have a hot shower and I can, I can wash my body and like I can rinse my hair and I know that it's not like gross sediment in the bath. And, and so, so there was things like that. Um, and then another thing that I've just started opening up about in therapy, I didn't even talk about it my first four years with my therapist, um, because she, she tells me that there are things you can start to open up about now that maybe you just weren't ready to before.
Um, my parents used food to punish us all the time, um, would send me to bed without dinner. Um, we didn't really have breakfast food or food to eat in the morning. There was actually a point where they put a lot up, like a padlock on the fridge and then send me to school with no lunch money. And, and it was devastating. Devastating. And so one of the things I learned to do was sneak food. And there was a summer where my parents actually planted stuff in our garden. And what kept coming back year after year was lettuce. And so while it's not super nutritionally dense, I would sneak out to the garden and go and eat the overgrown lettuce. Um, yeah. And that's just so unfair. Yeah. So unfair. And so to, to kind of, to kind of bring it full circle to what we're talking about, Harry's never gonna deal with that.
Yeah. My fam my kids will never, ever, ever deal with that. He gets to have, oh, like we had soccer today with snowing and on the way home he is like, mommy, I want a heated blanket. I want a heating pad, I want a blanket on top of that. And I'm like, yeah, dude, I totally, I get where you're coming from. I go, but what I think we should do actually is get you into a hot shower first. And he's like, no, I just wanna be warm, you know? And I'm like, just hear me out. Let's just try it. And if you don't like it, you can get right out. So he gets in the hot shower and he is like, mommy, great. Id, he's giving me a thumbs up. He's like, great idea. And then I went and I got him a hot chocolate and I was like, buddy, I have an even better idea. Have you ever sipped a hot chocolate in a hot shower? And so he's sitting, sitting in there, he's sitting in the hot shower with his little hand, like hanging out of the shower, just sip. And he goes, mommy, best idea ever. Not a not water heated up on a stove, not someone else's bath water, just a shower.
VICTOR
What a And that's all. Yeah. What a great, what a great visual. See, that would be something I would write in my journal at the end of the day today, , here's a win carry sipping hot chocolate while in the shower.
DEANNA
Yeah. Yeah. Um, and you know, um, I, to me that is, I, I find that to be the biggest win. Um, sometimes people don't often think about like the basic needs of others, right? Um, I know we're able to have empathy and, and things like that, but those kids at school that would make fun of me, they never thought about that because it just was not in their experience. Right. You know? But I'm gonna make sure Harry knows. I'm gonna make sure he understands. I don't want him to feel sorry for me, but I want him to understand there are going to be kids that, that don't have what you have. Right. And you don't ever know, because I never shared it with my classmates. I never told them. And he's gonna have classmates that never tell him either. And so what's different now? Well, not only is my kid not going to have to experience that, but he's gonna know that other people do. And, and it's, it's kind of like, um, a both/and there, you know? So I, it's, it's still, it's still difficult to talk about for sure. Um, but, but the reason why I'm, I'm, I'm comfortable in the uncomfortable is cuz I know it's not my shame. Right. You know, it's not, I did nothing wrong. I was a child.
VICTOR
Right. No. Yeah. Yeah. I I think something to, to really, uh, celebrate with what you just said is the fact that you, you are already successful at this moment right now. You've, you have made it because you are already, you already, first of all, you have a, a beautiful young boy who is not going to be like you were when you were younger in terms of what you lived in and how you lived and all these circumstances. You're, you, you, you've seen it. You, you've been through it and now you're going the opposite direction. Uh, and I think that is incredible awareness. It's kind of like when I say my dad's my greatest personal hero because he taught me what not to do. And I think that's great. Um, I, I, I think something that I know my kids, uh, have now that I didn't have was not only, uh, a voice.
They're very vocal and I want them to be, but I never had parents that said, Hey, do you want to sit down and talk? It was always just keep moving along. Keep moving along. And if you have an issue, you don't cry. Uh, we sweep it under the carpet. We just keep moving along. So that's the biggest thing. I want my kids to be able to, to always be able to share and, and to talk. That's why I always kind of check in, are you good? How's it going? Did you have a good day? Tell me about it. What's going on? You know? And that's, that's my my favorite thing to do, uh, because I think that's what I lacked as a kid. And I think that's all we can do is just learn from what you know. Again, we're both not perfect, but there are people that keep repeating the same paradigms, the thoughts, feelings and actions of what they learned from their parents.
And they're, they're repeating it. And it's kind of like, my dad had a philosophy is you eat everything in your plate or you're gonna wear it. I notice now and this just kind of clipped, but when I go to a restaurant, I'm always leaving so stuffed because first of all, I don't wanna waste the food. So I keep eating and I've realized, wait a second, I can stop and take it home and eat the rest of it later tomorrow. But my dad was always about, you better finish that. What's in your plate if you, it's what he used to say, if you don't finish it, you'll wear it. And he did it to my sister. I remember one time I'm sitting there and she's like, I'm not eating, I'm done. He's like, you're not leaving until you finish your plate. Which is a horrible, that's punishment. It
DEANNA
Sets you up to have such an unhealthy relationship with the food.
VICTOR
So then he literally took her plate and put it over her head.
DEANNA
That's wild.
VICTOR
It's just complete shame. And it's, see that's the thing. Like that was normal to us. That was normal. And then, you know, and again, , I have to give away too much and I'm laughing, but this is my way of coping. Yes. I told you this. I would sit at the table. My dad, we had a, we had wallpaper on our wall. My dad ended up very handy guy. This is horrible what I'm about to say, but I I, I feel like it's, I'm kind of, I'm smiling about it and laughing about it because it's so ridiculous. He replaced the wallpaper with wood panels, not wood panels, not paneling, but actual wood. Mm-hmm. , you can see like the, in the, the, the holes in the wo you know what I mean?
DEANNA
All The knots and stuff.
VICTOR
Real wood, like real wood. Very interesting. And one day I'm sitting in front that our table was in, where I sat on the side of the table, the wood was behind me. So the wall was behind me. He'd literally be like, don't move. And he would take his sharp steak knife and go and it would go right past me and it would hit in the wall and go, da da da. Now I knew he wasn't gonna hit me cuz my dad was like, really close to me. I'm justifying it. It's ridiculous. Yes. It's ridiculous. He's throwing knives past my head and he wanted to see it stick in the wall. Now he laughed. We all laughed. And I'm like, that is so wrong, . Yeah,
DEANNA
It is. It is. And and there's so many ti like when I was in college, Victor, I would tell my best girlfriend at the time, um, I'm not friends with her anymore. And you know what? I could do a whole podcast on friendships that ended because I wasn't a present friend. Right. But this friend, um, I would tell her something and I would start to laugh and she goes, that's not funny.
VICTOR
Right?
DEANNA
I go, uh, well what about what else am I gonna do if I don't laugh about it? And she's like, well, I mean you could, you could like cry, you could work through that. I go, but that's, that's so painful. And so I'm actually, I'm doing that in therapy right now is I laughed about when I first shared with Margaret, love You Margaret, when I first shared with Margaret that I would go out to the like side of the house to eat a can of green can of green beans would be a meal. And it was the most delicious thing. Uh, or the, the lettuce that I would go and sneak or the raspberries that were overgrown in our backyard. Right. Um, I would, I would start to laugh and she goes, what are you doing? And I go, am I, am I not grounded?
And she's like, you are talking about a child who's being starved, neglected, maltreated, sexually abused, physically beat. And you're talking about how this little girl had enough sense to go outside and try and survive and you're laughing at her. And I go, what else am I supposed to do? ? I go, it hurts Margaret. She goes, yeah, I know that's why you're here. She goes, it's supposed to hurt. What they did was very wrong. And we can, we, there's still pieces of my parents that I definitely love and there's obviously you're gonna love your parents too, Victor. Um, but we can love them and acknowledge that they did very wrong things. I laugh too, when my dad did things that were abusive. How else were we gonna survive? How else was everyone in the family gonna get through it? Right? So what's different now? You're not throwing knives at your kids and making them laugh to make them cope with it, you know?
VICTOR
Right, right. Yeah. So now maybe they play a video game that has a little violence in, they know the difference between real life and, and and a video game. Yeah. I'm okay with it now. I know everyone's not, but you know, my kids are getting older now. Oh yeah. So like, let's really, like I was living through all this stuff and I'm, I'm not laughing, but they're, they're playing pretend games Yeah. Of some violence and some things. But I lived it. I, I lived through getting chased in my house and Okay, I'll laugh again cuz it was funny. Mm-hmm. , I had a water bed. I, I dunno if I ever told you it's, I had a watered um mm-hmm. , which was the best. My brother had one and then I wanted one and I loved the waterbed. It was heated. It was like, you wanna talk about getting into like a ocean Of this? Amazing,
It was so amazing. Very therapeutic. But I remember my dad chasing me in the house cuz I had done so, and I used to be very afraid of my dad. My mom would say, your dad wants to see you. I go, no, he's gonna hit me. He's like, would he would be like, he would be threatening me. Come here now. Come here now. And I would get there and I'd be like, what? What? You know? Well one day he was chasing me and I was older. Mm-hmm. , my early teens, maybe my, even my son's age, he's 15 or maybe Luca uh, 13. He chased me into my bed and he was gonna go after me and he started to punch me, but because of my water. But now this, I'm laughing cuz it's, it is funny now, but
DEANNA
It's, and it's uncomfortable. Yeah.
VICTOR
Because he was punching me and I was go, I had a very, uh, wa a very wavy water bed. There was waveless and wavy. Mm-hmm. Just go like this. Which, so every time he went to hit me, I was going down and then he would go like, uh, then he would go down. And so he never really hit me . And I'm like, this is great. Cuz he is not actually hitting me. And I would be like, oh, oh, oh, that's ridiculous.
DEANNA
And, and you're never gonna get, I will never tell you, Victor, you can't laugh about that. Victor, I'm not your therapist. Right. I'm not gonna, I I'm not gonna sit here and be like, well actually Victor, you shouldn't be laughing. I laugh about it too. You saying that Victor, and we're gonna have to put it an extra trigger warning on this podcast. This one, um, we're talking about some pretty deep child of abuse here. Um, I remember my mom, there was a certain age where I realized my mom was so weak, like so physically weak that if I wanted to I could overpower her. I never did. Um, but it was out in our yard. I must have been about 13 now to give you kind of a frame of reference for any, any, you know, women listening, my mom was like a size five.
Okay. My mom was about a size five. I was a size five in sixth grade. Okay. So by the time I got to high school, I was a 12. Okay. I was, again, very athletic. Like I, I, so I'm, I'm like twice the size of my mother. Okay. I remember her, something happening where I was, we had like these, uh, landscaping rocks that were flat. So like what, what kid, even a teenager doesn't wanna walk on them. And my mom got really mad about it and I'm, I'm walking on them and she goes, you know, very colorful language, but basically get off the rocks. And I said, no, . I said, no, cuz I was just walking out. I was like, I know I'm not ruining them nothing. So she came over to two hand push me. Um, and I felt like, like a young child was trying to push me like a young child.
Right. And it felt like it was like, and she was like, huh. Like, like she really put the effort in. Um, but I was a, you know, student athlete. I was, I was very muscular. Um, and I remember just kind of stepping off the stones and just looking at her. Um, and then she got mad and then she got really, really mad because it didn't have the desired effect. And she started chasing me around the yard with a hand spade that she would pick up dog poo with. Uh, and I ended up, I ended up running around the pool into the house and I hid from her. Um, but I, I, I, but looking back, like it was probably if and if the neighbor was watching, it was probably the funniest thing ever to them watching this, you know, small, tiny, crazy woman chase her daughter twice her size around the yard. It's not funny. That's horrible. I would never chase my child, uh, to scare them, to hurt them. Uh, we, we play tag like Harry Harry said, mommy, chase me. Mommy chase me. It's so mommy jump scare me. He loves to be scared, you know? Um, like he loves jump scare videos. Um, and that's just so, so Oh, so again, what's different now? Uh, I mean, my kid doesn't run from me in fear at all. He runs to me when he's scared.
VICTOR
Wow. That's great.
DEANNA
Yeah. That's really, it's
VICTOR
Awesome. Wow. Yeah, I think that's a, I mean what, just that last statement you just said, he doesn't run away from me. He runs to me when he's scared. That is that just right there? What is that? It just, that's what's different.
DEANNA
It kind of sums up what we're talking about, but before we, before we wrap up, there's one more thing. Um, both of us have been, have been coaches for, for our kid. Right. Um, and, and I don't, uh, you did, did your dad ever coach you?
VICTOR
He coach, uh, he might have a little bit. He coached more my brother in baseball.
DEANNA
Okay. Yeah. So, and I mean, I know you were the youngest and there was like the eight year difference, you know, but, um, and, and I don't, I don't, again, I I put blame on my parents where it needs to be. Um, my parents, they were never my coach. They, they would take me to soccer or like when I was a little kid, T-ball, you know, stuff like that. And they would show up to my games and that, that was very special to me. But they were never my coaches. There was never that, that kind of connection. And again, I don't blame them for that. Lots of parents are not coaches. Um, but getting to be Harry's coach is so cool. Even, even at this little, little age, you know, I, I won't be able to do it forever because that's, I don't have that skillset. Right. But I feel like that's different now too. And just, there's a lot of different things in my life and it all sparked just the other day, my father-in-law just squeezing my arm and, and saying, he's fine mama. And he is, and we're okay too. Yes. We've made those choices to be different.
VICTOR
Fantastic. Well, that, that's a good place to stop. So everyone Yeah. That's listening. Thank you for taking the time to do so. Please, we always want you to just share this with other people that you know and check out our [email protected] and see what we have to offer. We're very passionate about what we do, helping kids. And, and, uh, also check out our other, uh, podcast called Catch the Message. Uh, short little, um, little audios and, uh, videos about things that we've experienced in schools, uh, with kids and, uh, staff. So, um, speaking of courage, that's what that's about too. So thanks for sharing today, uh, Deanna. Um, everyone, we just want you to know, be present, be playful, and be powerful
DEANNA
And be happy. Be healthy. Be safe.
VICTOR
Bye everybody.
