Speaker 1 (00:09):
Hey everyone. Welcome to the Healing Everyday Podcast, stories and conversations to inspire you to be in the driver's seat of your life. Buckle up.
Speaker 2 (00:22):
Hey everyone. Welcome to the Healing Everyday Podcast. My name is Victor, and
Speaker 3 (00:26):
I'm Deanna. Welcome
Speaker 2 (00:28):
Back everybody. So excited to be here with all of you. You know, it's interesting, in the last, uh, episode we talked about, what's it called?
Speaker 3 (00:37):
What?
Speaker 2 (00:38):
Milk Warrior? Milk
Speaker 3 (00:39):
Warrior. I love it. I, we literally finished and I sent my mother-in-Law a message. I'm like, guess who talked about nursing for 10 minutes?
Speaker 2 (00:47):
. So we hope you enjoyed that episode, ,
Speaker 3 (00:49):
And to hear our voices again.
Speaker 2 (00:51):
Yeah. Well, let me just say this. If you, if you did listen to it or you didn't listen to it, the fact that, you know, Deanna was away doing presentations and she was, you know, uh, pumping and she had a solution to it. She couldn't bring it home. No.
Speaker 3 (01:05):
It would be too expensive. . So she,
Speaker 2 (01:06):
She donated it, which is such a
Speaker 3 (01:08):
Every ounce counts,
Speaker 2 (01:09):
Selfless thing, you know, it's a selfless thing. Okay. So today we're gonna talk about, um, continuing how we ended. The last one was something that Deanna really inspired me, and I think of everything that we've talked about since I've known you since 2000, what year?
Speaker 3 (01:26):
19.
Speaker 2 (01:27):
2019.
Speaker 3 (01:28):
April 11th, 2019. We met in person, but I believe April 8th is the first time we ever talked on the phone. Okay.
Speaker 2 (01:35):
Yeah. .
Speaker 3 (01:37):
Yes. Okay. Sure.
Speaker 2 (01:38):
Yeah. Okay. So, um, uh, so yeah, so we talked then the first, the, but of all the conversations we've had, the, the, the one thing that has really, really rang in my head and heart, and it just keeps going over and over again, is the fact that you had said that you were talking specifically to me, that, that I have to have more things to do for myself. Yes,
Speaker 3 (02:03):
You do. Right? And so do I. No, just everybody
Speaker 2 (02:06):
Does. Everybody does. But you know, you get so stuck in your routines. You get stuck in work, you get stuck with your kids and blah, blah, blah. When are you gonna take time for yourself? And I think on a side note, that's part of healing every day. Definitely. Right. Um, so with that being said, over the summer, I adopted, uh, uh, I didn't adopt a dog. I . I was
Speaker 3 (02:25):
Like, wait a minute, wait a minute.
Speaker 2 (02:27):
I adopted a, a new hobby. I love it. It's disc golf
Speaker 3 (02:31):
Fro,
Speaker 2 (02:32):
Fro, is that what they Frisbee golf. That's what they call it. Fro, they call it dad.
Speaker 3 (02:36):
I don't know if they still call it that. That's what we called it in college. Oh, interesting. You know, a decade
Speaker 2 (02:39):
Ago. And I had never played. And one day my son said, Hey, dad, we're gonna go play. I call it Frisbee golf. Uh, do you want to go? And I go, I don't know, like, where do we go? And it's funny because what you're not focusing on, you don't see. Yeah. We go to the park that he plays games, baseball games, and there's these little like baskets.
Speaker 3 (02:58):
They're chain basket. They're chain. I, I'm sure there's technical terms, but Yeah. They're baskets made a chain, so you can,
Speaker 2 (03:04):
Yeah. So anyway, my point is I started playing that with them, and I've gone by myself too. It's just so relaxing. Mm-Hmm. . It's quick. It's, I'm very competitive. very competitive. And what's really cool, everyone, uh, I get excited about this. There's an app that you can download, which I did, and it, you put in where you're at and it, it has a course. It has the course laid out. Oh, that is really cool. So you put your name in, and then you just, you, you keep score and it tells you how far the hole is.
Speaker 3 (03:34):
Does it keep track of everything too? Yeah.
Speaker 2 (03:35):
It's amazing. That's really cool. It's really, really cool. Um, and then on a side note, uh, my son and I were in Nashville, uh, for a baseball tournament. And we brought our discs, our Frisbees, whatever. You, I don't think they're frisbees. They're discs. Disc,
Speaker 3 (03:49):
Disc golf. Yeah. I don't
Speaker 2 (03:50):
Know. So Angela said, dad, I found a place that we can go to now. These are public, these are free. These are just, you go to a public park. Mm-Hmm. . And you play. Well, this one was literally five minutes from our hotel. We went there one day and it was so cool because we've been playing the same course here by, uh, by my house. And there was like wilderness, like you went into this, like all these trees and you had to navigate through that. And it was just very cool. Anyway, my, my the whole idea today is to share that I, I think part of life is, is really like, you know, when the student's ready, the teachers appear. Mm-Hmm. . And you were there that day. I won't get into why we were together talking, but you just said it's time for you to do something. Yes. To, to take your focus off all the stuff in your life. And it, all
Speaker 3 (04:39):
The, every complex relationship we have off of work, off of, uh, you know, whatever it is that we're doing is so important. Yeah. It really is.
Speaker 2 (04:50):
Yeah. And I think by, you know, when I do schedule those times for myself, you know, or with my kids, it's still for me.
Speaker 3 (04:58):
Yeah. Oh, for sure.
Speaker 2 (04:59):
It, it takes away, like, we work every day or you know, we work almost every day. And you're doing that and you're still maybe thinking about other things or you're, you know what, whatever. But when you're doing something for yourself, that's a hobby. And it's just fun with no other motive. No. To just be present in your life. Correct. It really is. Uh, it's powerful among, uh, uh, beyond, yes.
Speaker 3 (05:24):
Beyond anything. There's two things I wanna say. Um, the first thing is that we, and I don't know if this is because we live in a capitalistic or capitalism society, I don't know, like always wanting to make profit and always wanting to be productive. But I feel that so many of us feel like we're, we're not accomplishing something if we're not being productive towards like, work or writing or reading something that has to be self-help. It can't be for pleasure. It's gotta be. But how am I gonna learn something? And sometimes you can just do it for you. Right. And I think that doing things that are for or for pleasure or relaxation that is productive. That is productive. That's very true. It's so good for us. Yeah. And the second thing, 'cause I, I love that you said that, you know, you do this with your kids, but it's also for you.
Speaker 3 (06:08):
I do the same thing, you know, so I, again, yes. I spend a lot of time pumping. I don't just sit there twiddling my thumbs. Right. I, I sit, I have a pumping station, but I do stuff while I'm doing that. Um, I just finished a puzzle, literally sat there and was doing puzzles. I draw notes for my son to get that artistic, uh, ability out. I do write a little bit. I have written a little bit, I swear. Um, I read, I watch movies, right? Like that's all fun, leisurely things. But even though some of those things, um, that I'm sitting there kind of like, almost like busy work, just doing something right. There are things that I do for fun that I want to include my kids. You know, like I love to be creative. Right. And it was hard when I first got outta college to find that spark again and to, to love things again.
Speaker 3 (06:56):
'cause it reminded me of my dad. Right, right. Like, going back to that trigger and healing every day. I'm so glad that I worked through that or that I'm still working through it because I can include these, these hobbies, this fun stuff with, well, just the one right now. But eventually, Nico two, the, the baby. And one of them is I, I love, I love painting and I love, I love creating, one of the things that we recently did, we, it's like a, it's like a statue puzzle that we bought at the Ren fare. It's a dragon. And me and my son used colorful gel stain together and created, did a bunch of coats. And now it's like this colorful piece of art that he gets to take apart and play with. That's so cool. Oh my gosh. And we, we do that. Um, I have, I have many a power tools, um, for our anniversary.
Speaker 3 (07:44):
Me and my husband will buy power tools for each other, or like one for the house. 'cause that's like, you know, that's an anniversary gift for us. Right. Super real. Seriously, I swear to God. Power tools. Power tools. One year it was, um, a lawnmower one year it was, um, saw, saw and a jigsaw for me. Uh, one year it was a leaf blower. Then we lost it. Bought a second leaf blower from lost. Did it get blown away? did it. It was, that's good. It was so far away. But we lost it and then found it. Then we had two leaf blowers. Well, how did you lose it? I don't, it was in our basement. It was in our basement. Okay. So, but like, we do these things and so I have all these things I can create, like bigger pieces of art. And so I like doing that.
Speaker 3 (08:25):
I can also do that with my kids. So it's, yes, it's finding something that I'm not just doing that to be with my kids. Right. Like just an activity with them. Right. It's also super fun for me. It sparks relaxation and this feeling of I'm doing this. Right. I love it. And obviously, you know, I love makeup. Um, haven't done makeup for fun in a while because babies. Right, right. But I, I know that's gonna be a piece that draws me back in once I get through. And I don't wanna say get through. I love the connection I have with Nico. Right. With nursing. Right. But once I get to get reclaim part of my time and my body, I'm gonna go back to doing that. 'cause I love it so much. So yeah. I, I am a big believer in, in doing these things. Right. And you do so much, but I've known you for a little while now and you don't do enough of that for
Speaker 2 (09:16):
You. Right. And it's, it's a, this is kind of a, a, a segue, but it, it really is connected. So part of my business is, you know, I, I consider myself an entrepreneur. Mm-Hmm. . I started my business in 1999 and it's really grown. And it's, I love it so much. I'm very proud of the work we do. But just this year, in fact, a couple of weeks ago, I, uh, enrolled in a coaching program that I, I did in 20 years ago. And I did it for one year. I was very young. I really wasn't in the mindset of staying with it. Um, I enjoyed it. But since then I've been always following the main coach for a very long time. I have a lot of his books, et cetera. And the reason why I'm bringing this up is I joined again. And one of the aspects is their trademarked time system for entrepreneurs.
Speaker 2 (10:03):
And there's three days involved. And you literally label your days that this way. There are focus days. Those days are the days that you're doing all your most productive work. So when we're presenting at a school, yeah. That's a focus day. When I'm working on, you know, marketing my business or, uh, brochures or anything like that, that's all focus. Well then there's a buffer day. Buffer days. Buffer days are when you rehearse and clean up your messes. Mm-Hmm. . So for example, tomorrow, uh, I'll be setting up my equipment, getting ready for the school year. I'll make sure that the computer is working with the sound and the, and the videos working with the tv. And it's all connected. Those are buffer days, rehearsing days. But then this is the connection between what we're talking about today. The third day is a free day. Yeah. And literally from midnight the night before to midnight the next night, you do not work at all.
Speaker 2 (10:55):
You don't answer emails. You don't work for a little bit. You don't read books that are on business or self-help. Mm-Hmm. , you do only things that you enjoy doing. Mm-Hmm. . Yeah. And I never really understood that until recently. And I think by you telling me, Hey Victor, you need to start doing stuff for you. That means I have to find the time. Well, now I literally going to be planning when this starts in November, I have to plan quarter out. So 90 days out. Yeah. I'll be planning, I'll know when my focus days are with our work and what days off that I have to do extra work. I'll know my buffer days, but I get to schedule free days. Absolutely. And those days are the days that literally I won't even do laundry. Yeah. Like, I won't do anything. Like, I'll make that a part of my buffer day. Like cleaning the houses can be part of your buffer day of I could be working on cleaning up messes for my business and then working on the house. But the free day is so powerful. Like Yeah.
Speaker 3 (11:57):
Like, it's like a
Speaker 2 (11:58):
Reset. Don't call me a recharge.
Speaker 3 (11:59):
I'm just kidding. No, I, no. Only if it's French
Speaker 2 (12:01):
Friendship. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Speaker 3 (12:02):
No, don't call you. And you missed my call and then I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2 (12:07):
Yeah. I had no, I had no clue that you called me yesterday. . Anyway, please understand this. I if you're listening to this, like, you don't have to be an entrepreneur to have a free day. Uh, you can be doing your own thing. Could you
Speaker 3 (12:17):
Imagine in a capitalist society? No Free days.
Speaker 2 (12:20):
Free. A free day. Like it's, and and the, their philosophy behind it is not just taking time for yourself, it's giving you an opportunity to rejuvenate. Yes. To get more. So what happens is the, the more free days you have when you're not thinking about what you need to be thinking about most of the other days of your business or your family and all that, of course you're gonna think about your family. But what it's doing is it's making you more creative when you come back.
Speaker 3 (12:43):
It
Speaker 2 (12:43):
Does. It's powerful. I mean, think about it when you workout. Yes. Don't you feel better to have to
Speaker 3 (12:47):
Out have rest? You have to rest to let your body yourself rejuvenate.
Speaker 2 (12:50):
Yes. After playing the, the games with my kids, or when I go by myself, I feel like, you know, I, I wouldn't say, you know, I accomplished much, but I just accomplished just being in nature, being outside, relaxing, having fun. Mm-Hmm. , we need to go back to being childlike. We can never, you know. Mm-Hmm. . Forget that.
Speaker 3 (13:09):
Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2 (13:10):
You gotta be childlike
Speaker 3 (13:11):
To slow down, slow
Speaker 2 (13:12):
Down, be in the moment. Yes. I mean, kids are so in the moment,
Speaker 3 (13:15):
Oh my gosh. It's, it's so cool to see kids just stumble and run and jump and play from one moment to the next. And there are times, like even my son, where I see dysregulation happen, especially if he gets angry or embarrassed, and I see him immediately just like the anger pops up and things like that. So it does happen to kids where they get that dysregulation. However, he , he, he is the funniest kid. 'cause he'll be asking me a question about video games and before I can even answer, he's already wanting to talk about another topic because he's just going right from one second to the next. Right. And I, something I wanna say about that, that that time period that allows you to come back and be more creative, um, I felt that full on when I joined you as a presenter. And I've told you this before, learning the curriculum was difficult.
Speaker 3 (14:04):
Not because you're so complex with everything. It is definitely artful and, and very crafty the way you put everything together. But just learning all those new curriculum was scary. And I wanted it to be really good. And I remember texting you, 'cause you were down in, I think Alabama on a family vacation. Right. And I was like, I've been crying for like the last hour. I'm not getting this. I'm so frustrated. And you were like, I'm so sorry you're crying, you're doing great. Or something like that. Something very, very supportive. You know? And I called my mother-in-Law and I'm like, I'm just so frustrated. 'cause I'm at home with my son and I'm going in and out and she's like, you need to take a break. Mm. And I'm like, but I, what if I take a day off? And then that day is missed.
Speaker 3 (14:45):
Now she goes, you're not gonna retain any of this. No. And maybe that's why you're getting frustrated, right? Because you're not, your brain catch up. You're not giving yourself a little bit of time. So we went up to the harbor market in Kenosha, uh, Wisconsin, beautiful farmer's market. It's huge. It's amazing. It's right on, on the lake. And we spent, I just had it pop up in my memories on Facebook. We spent that like three or four hours just going up and down, sitting by the fountain, uh, you know, spending time with, at the time my, my one son. And it was exactly what I needed. I can see looking at the pictures, how much more relaxed I was. That's cool. Yeah. Oh yeah. And I came back and work started couple days after that for us. And I felt it was the best thing. Would it have been better if I did that a few times? Right? Probably. Right? Probably. But it's, that's what this reminds me of is you have to take that time. Not just because, you know, those pleasurable things feel good to us, but it's, I think it's necessary for
Speaker 2 (15:41):
Sure. And I'm, you know, the older I get, the more I realize how important this really is. Yes. It, it is. And I'm, I, I, again, we are not counselors. We are not psychologists at all, but we are people that have speak for yourself. Well, no, I'm not. Well, we've, we've
Speaker 3 (15:54):
Gone
Speaker 2 (15:55):
we've gone through a lot of things just like everyone has a story. But at the end of the day, if I can make a recommendation, I I, if you're overwhelmed right now, if you're going through a difficult time in your life right now, if you're feeling like it just, it just won't stop or whatever, like you're on that, uh, hamster wheel, right? Yes. Take time for yourself and it requires you to do it. Nobody can do it for you. So if you have a schedule that you keep, put it in your schedule that on this day you're gonna take, even if it's not all day, a couple of hours to do something you wouldn't normally do, what's gonna happen is you do it one time. You're gonna start building momentum and you're gonna make it more of a habit in your life. And that's my recommendation. And I am getting better and better. And I can't wait in a year when we're doing another podcast about where I'm at with this coaching program and how much free time I've taken and how much better my life is going to be. So I'm already feeling it now. And it just started Yeah. In terms of doing these little activities. So with that being said, we wanna thank you for joining us today. Um, are you good? Anything else you want to add?
Speaker 3 (16:58):
All good. Yeah. Uh, you have your PhD
Speaker 2 (17:00):
I have my PhD in overcoming adversity.
Speaker 3 (17:03):
. Yeah.
Speaker 2 (17:04):
Yeah, yeah. Yeah. She laughs every time I sing
Speaker 3 (17:05):
It. I do. I think it's so
Speaker 2 (17:06):
Funny. I was at a school one year and a, a mom came up to me, actually, she was in a, a parent presentation and she says, what credentials do you have to be coming here to talk about sexual abuse, awareness and prevention? And I said, well, um, I have a PhD in overcoming adversity. I've been through it and I am better now that I am creating all of this in my life. So, yeah, I don't have an actual PhD,
Speaker 3 (17:27):
But I, and then you drop the mic and drop kid.
Speaker 2 (17:29):
I dropped the mic. Yeah. Back
Speaker 3 (17:30):
Flips off the school
Speaker 2 (17:31):
. I said, I'm out. Peace out. With that being said, everyone, thank you so much for joining us again. This is so true for this podcast episode. Be present, be playful, be powerful,
Speaker 3 (17:41):
And always be happy. Be healthy. Be safe guys. Bye
Speaker 4 (17:43):
Everyone. If you would like to learn more about childhood victories and the programs and curriculum we offer, please visit childhood victories.com.
